i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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