I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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