Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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