Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
