I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
