I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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