Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
