Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
