Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
