At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
