If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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