OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
