nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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