I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
