? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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