The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
