I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize