"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
