I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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