Your tits are I can't wait for
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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