Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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