some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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