bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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