She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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