Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
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four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
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I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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