VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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