yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
