I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
