38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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