i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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