I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
