ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
