I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
