i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
