there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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