My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
