Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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