just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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