i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
