She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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