Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
