If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
