if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
