sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
