Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
