i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
