we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
