If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize