I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
