Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
