didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize