DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
