so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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