Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
