I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
