You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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