He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
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He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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