Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
