Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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