She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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