okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he fucked my hip out of place.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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