Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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