Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
