At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
