so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
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I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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