Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
